That is exactly what I thought last Thursday. I was having some pretty intense, what I thought was cramps, from a period. Even though I was still taking the birth control pill. The doctor mentioned I may spot but nothing like the bleeding and cramping I was experiencing that started the day before. I was taking like 5 Advil at a time to just lessen the intensity of the cramping. It was odd too because this cramping was different. It was in the lower mid section of my abdomen. Like the same area I was feeling what I thought was implantation cramping. Around 5pm I had a feeling what was happening because I felt a gush and then I ran to the bathroom. I was having a miscarriage. I never even got to see a positive pregnancy test. Just the end result of what I didn’t even know was happening to me. The pain went away shortly after that. I was having slight cramping. But nothing like that what happened that day. As soon as I went home I started googling what happens during a miscarriage and what comes out. I had almost every symptom and the first four pics that came up looked exactly like what came out of me.

I let the doctors office know. They called me in on Friday morning. All looked fine. We were moving on to the next thing. The ERA test. I had an ultrasound that morning and I started the estrogen on Sunday. Adding another estrogen in this coming Sunday. And then another ultrasound on Tuesday, July 9th. There was really no confirmation or denying of what happened. No discussion either. Which is fine. I know they want to protect themselves. I did send them a photo (I know TMI!) and made sure they knew exactly what occurred.

The only sense I can make out of this is I felt cramping (I’m guessing the implantation cramping) until the Saturday night before the pregnancy blood test on Monday morning. If the embryo did implant that late, than maybe it wouldn’t have shown up yet on the blood test ?! And I never told them I was having the cramping until Saturday night. So, the doctor did everything by protocol knowing none of the information I had. Maybe if I would have told him I was cramping until Saturday night we would have done another test?!?! I don’t know and we can’t go back.

However, I didn’t tell them and we didn’t do another test. I’ve been reading and hearing about other people doing blood tests with negative outcomes when they were actually pregnant. I almost took one about 4/5 days later after reading about another woman’s baby journey blog. She had a blood test taken, it was negative and a few days later she took a pregnancy test at home and it was positive. I thought for a moment I should take one, but then I didn’t. I felt silly for even thinking about it.

I could have gotten so upset, angry, confused. But I didn’t. It isn’t worth it. I was already done grieving after the test came back negative. I feel like it would have been way worse if the test came out positive and then I had the miscarriage. I would have been devastated. I was so happy to know that I was able to actually get pregnant. I am 40 years old and that was such a blessing to me, To us.

This has been such a crazy, interesting and a learning journey so far. We know more about this process than we did before. And are super excited for the next transfer. It will work, we will be pregnant. And we will be parents! We will also be way more careful about how quickly we react to the test. Take another and then another.

I’ll keep you updated on our updates. Thank you for the support and for reading. We appreciate all of you more than you know!

Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!

April and Jay 💕❤️

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